What's Left of Me?
by dreamercat21
Summary: Roxas just moves and he finds his world spinning out of control when he meets a boy name Riku. Remix is in the making
1. Moving

(A/N) I hope this is better than my other ones! I just typed it up and I plan on adding on to it soon, when school stops….

Disclaimer: Belongs to Square Enix, don't think I spelled that right….

* * *

Roxas stumbled out of bed searching for his beeping alarm clock that must have fallen off last night. He bent down, reached under his bed, and grabbed the alarm clock. He quickly jammed the snooze button and slammed it on his nightstand.

Roxas threw his hand on his face and moaned. He glanced at his clock through his fingers hoping he overslept. It was only 7:32 in the morning. _Dang it_, he thought. Today both he and his sister, Namine, started a new school. They had just moved here from Hollow Bastion.

The blond boy got up from the floor and staggered to his closet. He grabbed a black tee shirt, some jeans, and a dark red hoodie; he quickly threw his clothes on, hoping his twin sister, Namine, hadn't noticed he woke up late.

Namine rushed down the wood stairs in her stocks, letting her hair light blond hair fly as she ran. At the 3rd step down, Namine slipped and yelped as she fell.

Roxas climbed down the steps in his old sneakers. He grabbed Namine's wrist and helped her up. He walked toward the door and grabbed his book bag on the way.

Namine quickly rushed to the door, sliding across the dark wood floor. She grabbed her tennis shoes, slipped them on, and scoped up her one strap book bag. She raced out the door after her twin brother who was already walking to their new high school.

As the twins walked to school, Roxas thought about his cousin. Sora had never met Namine before because their parents had been divorced ever since they were 2 years old and his dad never let Namine see any of her relatives.

Roxas didn't care much for his dad. He abused Namine and left her emotionally scarred for life. His dad was now dead because of doing drugs and drinking. He also had a lot of other issues too. Roxas was actually glad his father was dead, now his mom didn't worry about Namine's safety with his father every night.

Namine grabbed Roxas' arm stopping him from running into a barbwire fence. Her cries at him from running into the last few things only helped a little bit by steering him in another direction.

Roxas was too caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice where he was going. He didn't hear Namine's voice calling him, trying to keep him from running into it. He jerked around to face Namine. She had worry written all over her face.

Namine's hand slide down from his elbow to his wrist as she asked, "Roxas, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself lately?"

Roxas smiled, put his free hand behind his head, and said trying to sound as carefree as he could, "Nothing Namine! Just, I've never lived with you before and the moving. A lot of things are on my mind but I'm really fine! No need to worry about me!"

Namine sighed and said, "Please, just don't freak me out like that again." She smiled, looked at her white watch, and said as turning on her heel yanking Roxas along, "Roxas! Let's go we're going to be late!"

* * *

"Roxas! Namine! Over here!"

Roxas looked through the courtyard searching for some brown spikes somewhere.

Sora and another boy with long silver hair, most likely older than him, approached the twins.

Namine held her drawing book close to her chest hoping not to be noticed by the other two boys.

Sora rushed up to his cousin and wrapped him in a hug. He let the blond boy go and introduced the boy beside him, "Roxas, this is Riku. Namine! Come over here!" He signaled her down trying to get her to meet Riku.

Namine walked over to Sora and he also wrapped her in a hug. He also introduced Riku to her.

* * *

The school day dragged on. Roxas thought is would never end.

Roxas rested his chin in his hand, half asleep already, when the finally bell rung, making him jump in his seat.

Riku, who sat in the front of the room, grabbed his book bag and made his way out of the classroom.

Roxas saw Riku leaving and quickly scoped his book bag up trying to catch up with him.


	2. Choices

A/N Hi people! I'm back with another chapter! I hear some critics moaning, lol. I made time in my life to work on this. I really hope it paid off to skip my homework. Lol, today I jumped on my friend and dragged him down onto hard concert! I'm evil!

Disclaimer: Lol! YeNo..

* * *

Roxas ran as fast as he could trying to catch up with the older boy. He didn't know why he was running after him he just did like a reflex. 

When Roxas caught up with Riku he slipped backwards and fell, grabbing the older boy's shoulder, dragging him down with him.

Riku fell down hitting the blond boy in the thigh and landing on the younger boy's side. He scrambled to his feet and put his hand over his eyes and said, "Next time blonde, watch out, okay?" He walked away with a bruised shoulder, shifting his book bag to the other shoulder.

Roxas lay there stunned. He didn't expect Riku to just take that so calmly. Over the phone with his cousin before, he had said Riku had a short temper. He quickly got up and grabbed his book bag that had sled across the hall. He ran to go find his sister.

Namine had already made new friends and they all walked together in a group to each other houses.

After each one of the girls disappeared Namine talked less and slowed down her paces trying to match her brother's. She asked him with a curious look on her face, "So, Roxas, what do you think of Riku?"

Roxas sighed and said, "His not as bad as Sora said he was."

Namine had a weird look on her face like she was just handed a test with only numbers and symbols on it. She opened her mouth than shut it.

They walked home in silence.

* * *

Roxas played with his food on his plate at dinner. 

His mom only ate quickly not looking at neither of her children. She stood up with her empty plate and instructed her children, "Wash your plate off when you get finish eating, I'm going to work so I expect you to be in bed by 10. Make sure to do your homework, too."

Namine didn't eat anything her mom had put in front of her. She stared at her plate full of food for a few minutes. She looked up at her brother and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Roxas was about to stand up with his plate but Namine was by his side grabbing his plate. She said, "I'll do the dishes."

Roxas looked up at Namine and let her take the plate. He kindly said to his sister, "Thanks, Namine." He pushed his chair back and got up. He dragged himself upstairs.

* * *

Roxas woke up to the gray light shining through his shades. He moaned, rolled over to his night side, and looked at his clock. Only 6:48 a.m. He thought his sister would be getting up by now trying to get in the shower. He rolled back over on his back and threw his arm over his eyes. 

Namine opened Roxas' door in a bathrobe. She said into his room, "Get up, Roxas! It's morning!"

Roxas moaned at his sister's cheerfulness. He waved his other hand at her and said, "I'll get up in a minute, Namine."

Namine laughed and slide out of his room.


	3. What do they mean?

(A/N) Tee hee! Long story! My internet has been mean lately. I put a lot of thought into it so be happy! I know I am! Runs around in a circle

Disclaimer: Lalalalalala, I can't hear you!

* * *

Roxas moped for the rest of the school day. He barely noticed everyone get up when the last bell rang. He scooped up his book bag from his seat and stood up.

Everyone in the class room had left and the teacher was at his desk going through papers from last week's quiz.

Roxas scanned the empty room for a minute than began to walk out the door. He didn't notice the silver haired boy in the back of the room till he went up to the teacher and asked about the homework.

Roxas quickly whirled around to Riku's voice to see him standing in front of the desk waving a paper near the teacher.

Riku swung his book bag around and put his homework in it and thanked the teacher for answering his questions. He turned around to see Roxas staring at him in the middle of the door way. He quickly swung his book bag over and smiled.

Roxas was embarrassed and turned to walk out into the hall but Riku grabbed his shoulder making him slow down.

Riku said, "Hey Roxas, why are you in a hurry today?"

Roxas stared at his feet as they walked down the empty hall. He said, "No reason."

Riku looked at the blond boy and laughed, "Normally you're really slow." He stopped laughing and became serious. He stared down the empty hall and asked, "Hey Roxas? Why do you avoid me?"

Roxas quickly looked up at the old boy and smiled gently while saying, "Riku, I don't try to avoid you, it's just that I just moved here and it's kind of hard for me to make friends."

Riku said, "Sora has been talking a lot about you lately, I guess with you moving here and all. When he told me about you I imagined a hot-tempered boy kind of like me, but you seem nothing like the person Sora has told me about. Kind of funny how we imagine things, sometimes a little too dramatic." He smiled and laughed lightly.

Roxas joined him for a minute then said, "Yeah, well, Sora always told me that you would pin me up against a wall and beat me to a pulp if I ever made you mad."

Both boys walked together talking on their way home.

* * *

When Roxas arrived at his house the lights inside were already on. He waved goodbye to Riku and stepped inside his cozy house.

Namine was sitting on the steps drawing something. She looked up from her notebook and said smiling, "Hello Roxas! Dinner's in the kitchen."

Before Roxas could turn the corner to enter the kitchen Namine caught him by asking, "Roxas, why were you late today?"

Roxas grabbed the door facing's and said, "I was walking with Riku."

Namine know something was going on but she didn't want to say anything so she just muttered into her notebook, "Oh, ok."

Roxas turned the corner and saw a plate on the counter full of chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and a glass of tea beside it. He sighed and muttered to himself, "Namine, you don't have to cook that much." He picked up the plate and glass and set them down at the table. He sat down and ate only a few bits. Everyone at school called him anorexic but he only had a small appetite.

Roxas got up and pushed his chair in. He climbed up the steps to see his sister in her room doing her homework on her white bed. He turned the corner and went into his room. His room was almost all blue, blue walls, blue rugs, blue sheets, blue curtains. One thing in his room wasn't blue. A spot on his wall with a giant board, on it, it said written in big, bold letters, "Don't dream!"

The words repeated in Roxas' head till he became angry at them. He grabbed the board, ripped it from its place and threw it half way across the room. He stared at the board for a minute then grabbed it once again to break it into two pieces. He quickly grabbed both pieces and threw them into his closet. He didn't want to see them again.

Roxas got up on his bed and curled into a ball and fell asleep.

That night Roxas had dreamt of a place named, The World That Never Was. He saw Riku and saw many people he never even knew, but somehow he knew most of their names.

Roxas woke up to the loud beeping noise coming from his nightstand. He grabbed the alarm clock and threw it at the wall hoping it would break.

Namine yelled to Roxas as she skipped down the steps, "Get up, sleepy head!"

* * *

Roxas thought about the dream for the rest of the day. He barely noticed the last bell again.

Riku got up and caught up with Roxas on his way out of the door. He grabbed Roxas' shoulder and turned the younger boy around to face him.

Roxas asked Riku in the empty hall letting it echo a little, "Hey Riku? Do you ever dream?"

Riku stared straight ahead and said, "What kind of question is that?"

Roxas looked up at Riku and said in a demanding voice, "Just answer the question!"

Riku laughed at him and said, "Yeah sometimes, not much."

Roxas sighed and said, "Well I was just wondering."

Some teens came down the hall, they seemed like they were looking for something or someone.

Riku quickly grabbed Roxas and slammed him into some lockers, hiding Roxas' face from the group. He muttered under his breath, "God, I hope this works." He pinned one of Roxas' hands on the locker and captured him in a possessive kiss.

The teens saw them and some of the girls stared for a minute, one of the boys said loud enough for the whole group to hear, "Let's go to a different hall." They all turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

Riku didn't pull away till the group left.

Roxas yelled at Riku, "What the hell was-?" He cut short by Riku's hand over his mouth.

Riku leaned closer to Roxas till their noses were about touching and said in a low calming voice, "Listen, that group was looking for you. I think people have been saying crap about you to make them mad."

Roxas grabbed Riku's hand and tore it away from his face. He said trying not to be too loud, "Well, ok, but what about that damn kiss?" He gave Riku a demanding stare till the older boy opened his mouth.

Riku sighed and said, "Well, I cause it was instincts to cover you like that, sorry."

Riku stepped back from Roxas and let him get off the lockers.

* * *

Roxas arrived home and dragged himself up into his room.

Namine was sitting on the steps watching her brother go to his room.

Again, that night Roxas continued to dream about that place from last night. He saw Riku, he didn't look the same. Dark trench coat, black blindfold covering his beautiful aqua eyes, the rain soaked his uncovered silver hair. He almost looked depressed.

Roxas fling up from his bed and realized he was sweating uncontrollably. He turned toward his alarm clock and began searching through the dark.

Finally, Roxas picked up a rectangle shaped object and pressed a button on the top to revile the lighted numbers.

1:48 a.m. Pretty early.

Roxas put his alarm clock back and laid down. He wondered what the dreams meant, why they showed terrifying images of Riku. 'Why?' He asked himself in his head.


	4. A Slow Day

(A/N) Yay! Another long chapter, these things eem to get longer and longer as I go, strange, well this chapter was the most moving chapter I would say. Not like some of you don't agree with me, but thats your opinion. I'm so proud! Now off study!

Disclaimer: I don't feel like it.

* * *

Roxas walked into the high school and dragged his tried body to his locker. He fumbled with his locker till it finally opened. Once he put a book in, Riku was right by his locker.

Riku said quietly so no one would hear him, "Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday that was kind of a natural reaction for me, to hide you from them."

Roxas began switching books when he said, "No problem, we'll both forget it ever happened sooner or later."

Riku grabbed Roxas's shoulder and said, "But, I have to make it up to you somehow. Anything!"

Roxas turned and stared deep into Riku's aqua eyes for a moment before shaking his head to look away.

Riku grabbed the younger boys' chin to make Roxas face him. He asked staring deeply at Roxas, "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Roxas tried to look away but Riku held him tightly in his grip.

Roxas growled, "Just leave me alone." He pulled away, slammed his locker shut and ran off.

Riku stood there for a minute still in shock. He looked down letting his silver hair fall in his face as he muttered to himself, "Fine then, I see how it is."

Roxas couldn't stop thinking about how forceful Riku was before school. It frightened him, like the dreams he had the same expression.

* * *

Roxas scanned the empty classroom looking for Riku but he was nowhere to be seen, only two or three teens were left packing their book bags. He turned around only to be met with Riku's demanding aqua eyes. 

Roxas asked, "What do you want?" He stared into the older boy's hard solemn eyes as he forced his own question upon him.

Riku looked away for a minute staring out the window then he finally looked back and said, "We need to talk." He suddenly grabbed Roxas' arm and turned towards the door.

Roxas tried to get free of Riku's grip but he wasn't going to be shaken that easily.

Riku dragged Roxas to his house. It was far bigger than Roxas' and it seemed like his parents were never home due to the piled up dishes in the sink, clothes everywhere, and things scattered around. He threw Roxas down on the couch in the living room and walked behind the couch to get to the kitchen.

Roxas couldn't help wonder if Riku was an only kid and he was dying to ask where was his parents, but he was speechless.

Roxas didn't want to stay here, the older boy now frightened him and flashed of the dreams came back. He got up and turned around to check to see if Riku was still in the other room. He was only met by the silver haired boy leaning on the door frames.

Riku sighed and said, "Look, Roxas, I'm sorry, it's just, I'm the kind of person who has to do something in return for my own actions."

Roxas got ready to run towards the door and make an escape for his house only 3 blocks away.

Riku walked over to Roxas and pushed him back onto the couch. He sat down beside him and said, "Please just stay for a little bit, I really need some company."

Roxas finally choked out the question he was wondering, "Where's you're family?"

Riku sighed and said while looking out the window across from the couch only to the side a little bit, "Well, that's why I want you to stay, my parents are always gone, my older brothers and sisters are always late getting home from school, they also beat me up every night, it's hell and I really have no one to talk to after school."

Roxas didn't know how to really comfort anyone. All he could do was hug Riku and say, "I'm sorry."

Riku said still staring out the window into the open street, "You shouldn't be the one who's sorry, I should be saying sorry to you."

Roxas let go of him and sat back up and asked, "Riku?"

Riku looked at the blond boy and had a curious look on his face when he responded, "Yeah?"

Roxas reached up only high enough to gently kiss Riku's lips and then sink back down into his seat to hide his blush.

Riku smiled and put his arm around Roxas' neck, then planted a kiss on the younger boy's blond head.

* * *

Roxas peeked into the dark house before quietly stepping in. He looked around hoping his eyes would adjust very quickly to the dark. 

Roxas' mother flipped on a light switch and saw Roxas only a few feet from the door. She said, "Roxas! How dare you leave the house without telling your sister or me! And then you come home at 11:45 at night! Care to explain?"

Roxas quickly went through his mind and looked for a really good excuse for his mother. He finally said, "I was out on a date! Namine must have forgotten to tell you! I'm sorry next time I'll call you before I go out on a FRIDAY night!"

Namine stood there beside her mother looking like a scared lost child. She held onto her mother's nightgown and held one hand balled up into a fist at her mouth.

Roxas marched past his mom and sister, he stomped down the hall till he got in the doorway of his room. He turned around and slammed it shut.

Roxas' father, Cloud, had heard him come in and didn't wanted to be disturbed after a long Friday afternoon. He climbed out of bed and went straight towards his son's room. He busted through the door and saw Roxas lying on his bed facing the other way.

Cloud grabbed Roxas' arm and yanked him off the bed. He made his son face him. He said, "You dare come home so damn fucking late again, I will beat your ass." He balled his other hand up and hit Roxas' left cheek leaving his son stunned and hurt.

Roxas had never really felt pain before, only from falling and tripping over stuff. He had never been hit by his father or anyone else before.

Cloud stormed off to his room and left Roxas crying on the floor.

Namine peeked into her brother's room and saw him on the floor curled into a ball crying his heart out. She walked so quietly over to her brother making sure her father wouldn't hear. She bent down and asked, "Roxas? What's the real reason you were late?"

Roxas looked up at his loving sister and said barely above a whisper, "Riku." He couldn't utter anymore words to explain, he only drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

_Roxas stood by the window staring out into the blank dark sky. He saw neon lights flash off other buildings to reflect on the wet ground below._

_Riku slid into the nobody's room to see Roxas standing by the only window. He went to stand by him and peer out the window. He said, "When are you leaving?"_

_Roxas sighed and shook his head while saying, "I don't know, if Xemnas were to find out I was leaving, he would kill me for sure."_

_Riku wrapped both arms around Roxas' waist and pulled the nobody closer to him. He whispered in his ear, "Don't forget me when you do." He lightly kissed the younger boys' lips._

_Riku pulled away to someone knocking on the door. He whispered into Roxas' ear, "I love you." He opened the window and dashed out in time for Axel to open the door._

_

* * *

_

Roxas woke up to his father throwing a fit downstairs. He heard crashes and Cloud yelling, "Damn fucked up child! Can't come home with waking me up after a fucking long day."

Roxas didn't want to get off his floor and face his parents downstairs, but he got up to his cell phone ringing in his pocket. It was Riku. He quickly flipped open the silver phone and said, "Hello?"

"Hey Roxas."

"Hey Riku."

"Do you wanna come over later today? Cause I'm lonely here without anyone."

"Sure Riku, how about I come over right now, cause if I don't get out of my house, I'm dead." Roxas stressed the last word hopping Riku would know why.

"Yeah, sure, I'll be waiting."

"Ok, bye." He quickly flipped the phone closed and made a dash towards his window but when he looked back to make sure the coast was clear he saw Namine in his doorway.

Namine asked, "Where are you going, Roxas?"

Roxas unlocked the window and opened it while saying, "If mom or dad asks I'm at a friend's house studying."


	5. Run

(A/N) I hate this chapter so much!! Ugh, it took me so long...hate writers block. too much homework and studying. Hope you like it. And yes, I know it's short...get over it, I've been feeling unmotivated lately.

* * *

Riku and Roxas sat in a cafe talking to each other while waiting on their coffee.

"Ok, my turn. Have you ever kissed another guy, you know, other than me?" Roxas asked on the edge of his seat waiting for Riku's answer. He stared intently at Riku from the table that was separating the two boys.

Riku shifted in his seat and then said, "Yeah, have you?"

Roxas smiled sheepishly and said, "Nope, well other than you. I've kissed a few girls."

Riku leaned back and laughed. He said, "How can you kiss a girl? I mean really?"

Roxas gave him an evil glare and said, "Riku! That's not funny!" He wanted to punch Riku so badly but a waitress came and handed both the boys coffee cups.

Riku leaned back in his stool once more and said, "Soooo….." He dragged the last consent for a few seconds then took a sip of his coffee.

Roxas stared intently at his coffee, looking for something to ask him or tell him. He jerked his head up from his cup when he felt a warm hand on his wrist. He locked with aqua eyes.

Riku asked, finishing the last of his coffee, "You wanna go walk around town?"

Roxas nodded still staring at the black muck. He really didn't feel like drinking it, probably make him sick. He set his cup aside and said, "Let's go."

Roxas wondered around time holding Riku's hand close to him trying not to get lost in the crowd of people. He was trying to see anything other than people and busy shops, but the moment he looked over the crowd he saw his father coming closer.

Roxas tried to drag Riku across the street but Riku stayed put.

Riku looked at Roxas with a worried gaze, "What's wrong?"

Roxas hissed, "My dad is coming he can't know I'm here!"

Riku laughed and said, "I guess you don't want me to meet your family than."

The blond boy glared at Riku and hissed, "No, if my dad knows I'm here, he's going to beat my ass."

Riku sighed and gripped the blond boy's hand tighter. He halted in the middle of the sidewalk and whispered into Roxas' ear, "Follow me."

Without warning, Riku has begun to walk faster, head down, silver hair covering his eyes. He dragged the younger boy behind him. He hissed, "Put your head down."

When Roxas didn't respond, Riku commanded, "Now!"

Roxas didn't waste time thinking about what would happen if he didn't, he just followed Riku's orders.

After Cloud and another group of men pasted the boys they pulled their heads back up to see the rest of the crowd.

Riku jumped when a taller, leaner man stood in front of the boys.

The slated hair man said crossing his arms, "Where have you been?"

Riku opened his mouth to speak but the man beat him to it pointing at Roxas, "Who the hell is he?"

He stood there, impenitently waiting for Riku to say something. Finally the silver hair boy said, "Zexion, this is Roxas. Roxas, this is my older brother Zexion."

Roxas stared for a minute trying to clear his head until another man came up behind Zexion and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. The dirty blond whined, "Zexy! Why'd you leave me like that?"

Riku growled under his groan at his brother and his boyfriend.

The dirty blond noticed Riku and Roxas and said grinning, "So, Riku! You found yourself a boyfriend!" He got off Zexion and ran up in front of the slated hair man hugging both boys.

He squealed like a school girl, "I'm so happy for you Riku!" He giggled and said, "I'm Demyx! Some people, like Zexy, call me Demy. What's your name?"

Roxas said trying to adjust his voice to be heard, "I'm Roxas."

Demyx hugged both Riku and Roxas again and said, "Nice to meet you Roxy!"

Riku growled, "Demyx! Why do you get to give Roxas a nickname?" He gripped the blonds' hand and pulled him across the street, away from the dirty blond that was pouting and complaining to Zexion.


	6. Authors Note

**Hello! Long time no see!**

**Well, I'm making a remix of this story so I can start over and fix my mistakes. This story wasn't what I expected so I'm making a new story, Just Us.**

**I'm redoing all the chapters so please be patience with me. I'll post one at a time until the 5th chapter then I'll switch off between Just Us and No Matter.**

**This time I'll try to make sure I don't screw up with making Cloud their father when he's really dead.**

**One last thing, Roxas is going to be a little more angst this time around.**

**Thank you,**

**Dreamercat21**


End file.
